the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness to someone.
Gratitude is often something we express to someone we feel indebted to or when we have benefited from their actions. We usually think of gratitude as a way to show someone our appreciation but we don’t usually think about what the practice of showing gratitude can do for us in return. Research has shown practicing gratitude has many benefits to your health.
Benefits of showing Gratitude
It can improve your physical health: those who practice gratitude regularly report fewer physical pains, regular exercise (endorphins), and overall general sense of health than those who don’t practice gratitude.
It can improve your mental health:those who engage in regular gratitude practices report a greater sense of overall happiness and reduced symptoms of depression.
It can increase empathy and lower aggression:those who regularly show gratitude are less likely to seek revenge on others and are more likely to demonstrate prosocial behaviors.
It can improve self-esteem:demonstrating appreciation to others will often make you feel more positive about yourself.
It can increase your mental and emotional strength:when you regularly show gratitude, it can improve your resilience and in turn, improving your ability to recover from traumatic situations more quickly.
I started practicing gratitude about 3 years ago + have noticed a tremendous difference in my overall happiness + positivity. I find it much easier to “look on the bright side” even when things don’t seem so bright. In my personal experience, practicing gratitude has had a significant positive impact on my life. While it took awhile to make this a consistent practice, I found that even doing an exercise once or twice a week was helpful. This also improved my ability to note things I’m grateful for when something stressful or unpleasant happens in the moment. I’m able to quickly think of something positive which reduces the impact of whatever negative emotion may arise from the situation.
12 Ways to Practice Gratitude:
There are many ways you can begin practicing gratitude – many can be implemented in routine activities you are already doing.
Journaling: simply list a few things or experiences you’re grateful for + why each day or week. You can purchase a gratitude journal – like mine (pictured + linked above).
Gratitude Prompts: fill-in-the-blank style. For example:
I am grateful for these 3 things I see:
I am grateful for these 3 things I hear:
I am grateful for these 3 animals :
I am grateful for these 3 friends:
I am grateful for these 3 yellow things:
Gratitude Walk: get in a little exercise + practice gratitude at them same time. As you’re walking, engage in mindfulness practices by observing everything you see, hear, smell, etc. Notice the colors you see, the sounds you hear, the smells of flowers or plants, the feeling of your feet touching the ground with each step, etc.
Gratitude Reflection: similar to a meditation practice, you can sit quietly + focus on your surroundings using your 5 senses. Mentally note something you’re grateful for that you can see, smell, hear, touch, + taste. Next, focus on the people in your life. Who are you grateful for + why? Then, focus on yourself. Think of all your unique traits that make you who you are. Which ones are you most grateful for? Last, focus on life in general. All that life is. All the experiences you have had in life. Which ones are you most grateful for?
Gratitude Letter or Note to a Loved One: you can write a handwritten letter + mail it or text a friend or family member. It can be a simple message like “Hey! I was thinking of you + our memories together. I just wanted to let you know I’m so grateful to have you in my life.”
Begin a Meal With Gratitude: say grace for having a good meal to eat.
During a Meal, Note Your Gratitude For: the flavors, the smell, the view you have while eating, etc.
Gratitude For Things We Often Take For Granted: air conditioning, electricity, shower or bath tub, washer + dryer, cell phones, GPS, a bed to sleep in, etc.
Put Things in Perspective: when something goes “wrong” or you are struggling with a situation, you can reduce the impact of negative feelings by asking yourself what can I learn from this, how can I benefit from this, what good can I take from this? More often than not, there is usually a silver lining. Find the positive, no matter how small it may be.
Ungrateful Thought: acknowledge something you feel ungrateful for. Then, transform it into something you’re grateful for. For example, ungrateful thought: my friend was harsh with me today for no reason. I know she has a lot going on but I don’t deserve to be spoken to that way. Grateful thought: My friend is always there for me when I need her. I’m thankful to have a friend like her.
If you’re struggling to get started or looking for a quick + easy resource, check out this free printable worksheet below (linked)! This website has tons of great worksheets for various topics as well.
My inspiration for this post came from the links below!
Cognitive distortions are negative thinking patterns that are not based in fact and do not reflect reality. These patterns create an unrealistic – and usually negative – perception leading you to have negatively biased feelings about situations and events. Cognitive distortions are not a mental illness. In fact, it is completely normal to have the occasional cognitive distortion. However, if these thinking patterns are reinforced over time, then it can increase mental health issues including, but not limited to, anxiety and depression.
Luckily, you can change your thinking patterns to improve your mental well-being! Before we talk about how to change these patterns, let’s dive into some of the most common cognitive distortions. For the sake of being thorough, I have included examples on both the negative and positive ends of the spectrum.
The Twelve Most Common Cognitive Distortions
All-or-Nothing Thinking
Overgeneralization
Mental Filter
Discounting The Facts – Positive + Negative
Jumping to Conclusions – Mind-Reading + Fortune-Telling
Magnification + Minimization
Emotional Reasoning
“Should” Statements
Labeling
Blame
Personalization
Catastrophic Thinking
All-Or-Nothing Thinking
All-or-nothing thinking is when a person habitually thinks in extremes without considering all the facts of the situation. This is also called “black-and-white” thinking – shades of grey do not exist.
For example: When you fail, you may tell yourself you are a total failure. Or when you succeed, you tell yourself that you’re a winner and you’re the best there is.
Overgeneralizing
Overgeneralizing is when a person reaches a conclusion about one event and applies that conclusion to all subsequent events – thinking one negative (or positive) event will be a never-ending series of negative (or positive) events.
For example: When you are rejected by someone you like, you tell yourself you are unlovable and will be alone forever. Or when you overcome a negative event and things are going well again, you may tell yourself that all problems are solved, you will never face another problem again, and will be happy forevermore.
Mental Filtering
Mental filtering is when a person ignores all positives and only focuses on the negatives, or vice versa.
For example: When you go to work with a new haircut, you might have 10 people comment and tell you how great your new style looks. But the 11th person asks you why you changed your style or says he//she liked your hair better before, so you focus on the one negative comment and wear a hat to work until it grows back. Or when you go out to dinner with a friend, you tell yourself you will feel so much better after having a drink, completely ignoring the fact you typically drink too much and end up with a hangover the next day.
Discounting The facts
Discounting the facts is very similar to mental filtering. The difference is that instead of dismissing or ignoring the positives or negatives as a person with a mental filter would, you explain the positives or negatives away as if they “don’t count” to maintain universally negative or positive thoughts.
For example – discounting the positive: When a person gives you a genuine compliment, you tell yourself they are only saying that to make you feel good. Or – discounting the negative: When you get into an argument with someone, you become defensive and insist the other person is wrong dismissing their concern completely without seeing their perspective regarding the situation at hand.
Jumping to Conclusions
Jumping to conclusions is when you reach a conclusion that is not supported by the facts. There are two common forms: Mind-Reading and Fortune-Telling.
Mind-Reading
Mind-reading is when you assume you know how others are thinking or feeling. Try to avoid getting this confused with empathy – the ability to perceive or understand what someone may be feeling. If you need help distinguishing between the two, consider all of the facts of the situation. Avoid focusing on the facts that would only confirm your suspicions.
For example: When you’re at a party and you don’t know many people there, you start to feel shy and withdrawn, telling yourself others would look down on you if they knew you felt shy. Or when you’re in a relationship with someone, you tell yourself that everything is going great while the other person is actually frustrated or unhappy with you.
FORTUNE-TELLing
Fortune-telling is when a person predicts the way a future event will take place.
For example: When you are depressed, you may tell yourself you will never feel better and will never be happy again. Or when you go out to dinner, you may tell yourself you will just have one drink and everything will be fine, while you know you have never stopped after one drink in the past and more often than not, things do not turn out fine.
magnification + minimization
Magnification and minimization occurs when you either blow things out of proportion or significantly reduce their importance.
For example – magnification: When you are procrastinating, you think of everything you need to do and tell yourself how daunting each task will be. Or when you’re trying to eat healthier, you see the ice cream in your freezer and tell yourself how delicious it will be.
For example – minimization: When you’re procrastinating, you tell yourself that your efforts today won’t make any difference tomorrow so you might as well wait another day. Or when you see the ice cream in your freezer, you debate whether or not it will actually be good enough to give in to the urge.
Emotional Reasoning
Emotional reasoning is when you reason from your feelings versus the facts. In reality, your feelings are a direct result of your thoughts and not from what is actually happening. If your thoughts are distorted, then your feelings will be misleading as well.
For example: When you procrastinate, you tell yourself “I’ll complete my report when I’m in a better mood – I just don’t feel like it right now.” The time never comes and you miss the deadline so you tell yourself, “I feel useless so I must be useless.” Or when you meet someone really attractive, you may feel so happy and excited that you think he or she must be the person of your dreams.
Emotional reasoning is tricky because it is important to validate your emotions about a situation or event. However, when it comes to judging your reality, you must stay focused and rooted in the actual evidence.
“Should” Statements
“Should” statements can be self-directed, other-directed, or world-directed. These statements occur when a person believes something “should have” happened a certain way or that the person (or someone else) “should have” done something that they didn’t or are unable to do.
For example – self-directed: When you make a mistake, you tell yourself “you shouldn’t have made such a stupid mistake.” Or when you’ve had a tough day, you tell yourself “I’ve had a stressful day and I should have a drink.” – all the while, knowing that is not the best choice for you to make.
Labeling
Labeling is when you label yourself or someone else in a particular way after an event. It is an extreme form of overgeneralization.
For example: When you’re not getting along with someone, you label them as an incompetent loser. Or when you do well, you may tell yourself you are special and a winner. As a side note, this is often used as a motivational strategy by coaches and motivational speakers – but in reality, no one wins or loses all the time.
BLAME
Blaming occurs when you find fault with yourself (self-blame) or others (other-blame).
For example – self-blame: When you’re depressed, you may beat yourself up over all of your mistakes and shortcomings instead of using your energy to come up with solutions to your problems. Or – other-blame: When you have a conflict with someone, you tell yourself the other person is to blame for everything and that you are the victim and completely overlook your own role in the issue.
Personalization
Personalization is when you take things personally, but in reality, they are not connected to you in any way at all.
For example: When you get a note from your child’s teacher at school stating he or she isn’t doing well, you blame yourself for not being a good mother. Or when you see one of your friends has posted a story on a social media platform and he or she is out without you, you assume he or she doesn’t really like you and intentionally left you out.
Catastrophic Thinking
Catastrophic thinking occurs when a person assumes the worst in a situation where the outcome is unknown and there is lack of evidence to support his or her prediction. When people engage in catastrophic thinking, a typical worry can escalate and create an unnecessary amount of anxiety.
For example: When you call your mom, she doesn’t answer. You try calling again – no answer. You try again and still no response. Then, you begin to think she has been in a tragic accident and you will never see her again. When in reality, she was taking a nap and her phone was on silent.
It is important to note this doesn’t mean a person is “overreacting” – people who have experienced repeated and//or ongoing traumatic events are more likely to fear the worst outcome in many circumstances.
Challenging Cognitive Distortions
Now that we know the most common cognitive distortions, let’s discuss how we can change these thought patterns when they pop up.
Identify the thought
Reframe the thought
Perform a cost-benefit analysis
Perform a behavior-chain analysis
Consider why you may feel and think this way
Consider therapy // Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Identify the thought
When you notice yourself engaging in negative thinking, take a few minutes to analyze your thought process that led to your conclusion. Is there evidence supporting this thought? Is this conclusion rooted in feelings or facts? Do you have biases that would influence this thinking?
Reframe the thought
“Try on a different pair of lenses” and approach the situation from a different perspective. Look for alternative explanations, objective evidence, and positive considerations. It might be helpful to write down your initial thought along with several other alternatives.
Perform a cost-benefit analysis
More often than not, people will repeat behaviors and patterns that will deliver a benefit to some degree. Ask yourself tough questions. For example, how have these thought patterns helped me cope in the past? Do I gain a sense of control by engaging in these thoughts when I would otherwise feel powerless? Do these thoughts allow me to avoid taking a risk? Or do they allow me to escape accountability?
You can also start by weighing out the pros and cons of your thought processes – what do you gain and what do you lose by these thoughts?
Perform a behavior-chain analysis
A behavior-chain analysis is a 5-step process allowing you to identify what contributed to your thoughts. Here is a basic outline:
What are you feeling?
What events led up to this?
What vulnerability factors could be contributing to this? Lack of food? Lack of sleep? Substance misuse or abuse?
What thoughts are you thinking? Write them down and see if you notice any cognitive distortions.
Use logical solutions to navigate through your thoughts to transform them into a more positive way of looking at the situation.
Consider why you may think or feel this way
Think about the conclusion you made and how you got to that point. Determine if any preconceptions may have influenced how you came to this conclusion.
CBT is a form of talk therapy that teaches you to identify, interrupt, and change unhelpful and unhealthy thinking patterns.
If you’re looking for a therapist, you can go to psychologytoday.com to search for a local therapist who is properly trained and accepts your insurance.
If you aren’t interested in talking with a therapist, I highly recommend reading the book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David Burns. I have read this book cover to cover and it truly changed my life for the better. If someone ever asks me for advice, I recommend this book every single time!
If you have any other helpful tips or suggestions, leave a comment!
Dermaplaning is a manual exfoliation technique that removes dead skin cells and “peach fuzz”. It is not the same as “shaving your face”. This treatment is often offered in medical spas but can be done in the comfort of your own home with the right tools and aftercare products. All you need is a dermaplaning facial tool and hydrating skin care products for post-treatment use.
Benefits of Dermaplaning:
Removes skin cells + “peach fuzz”
Reduces appearance of fine lines
Improves appearance of acne scarring
Improves appearance of hyperpigmentation
Promotes collagen production
Smoother makeup application
Triggers skin cell regeneration
Assists in prevention of breakouts
Allows skin care products to absorb deeper into the skin
Good for all skin types
Removes dull skin
Immediate results
Low risk procedure
Quick procedure
Risks + Side Effects:
There are little-to-no risks with in-spa dermaplaning treatments. However, dermaplaning at home poses potential for greater risks – I recommend researching tutorials like this one to ensure your risks are minimized.
You may have mild redness for a couple days post-treatment and some experience small whiteheads in the days following treatment. This is totally normal.
Who Should Dermaplane?
Dermaplaning is good for all skin types! However, you should avoid dermaplaning if you have any current inflammatory skin conditions such as inflammatory acne//cystic acne, sunburns, eczema, psoriasis, or roseacea.
How Often Should I Dermaplane?
It is recommended to dermaplane once every 4-6 weeks. If you’re doing an at-home treatment, I recommend doing it at night. I have done both in-spa and at-home treatments. It is much more convenient do to it at home so I dermaplane once each month at night time.
How To Dermaplane At Home:
Always start by cleansing your face and removing all makeup; then, pat skin dry and use a toner or micellar water.
Put on a light moisturizer or facial oil. This step isn’t required but I like to have some moisture on my face.
Hold skin taut with one hand and dermaplane in the direction of hair growth. Angle downwards at a 45-degree angle using short, light strokes. Be gentle and take your time!
Wipe off your face; then, repeat previous steps angling the dermaplaning tool in the opposite direction for maximum exfoliation. This step isn’t required but I like to do it to ensure all dead skin cells are gone!
Afterwards, cleanse your face with a gentle cleanser and use hydrating facial products such as aloe vera, hyaluronic acid, and moisturizer.
Post-Procedure Tips:
Avoid using drying or exfoliating products for a few days after treatment. If you’re going to be out in the sun, use SPF. Avoid picking or scratching your face. Use a gentle cleanser and other gentle skin care products – you can never go wrong with CeraVe. Lastly, hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!!!
is a dialectal behavioral therapy skill (DBT) used to improve emotional regulation and combat vulnerability to emotional crisis. DBT was developed by Marsha Linehan, a psychologist and an author. The basis of this skill is taking care of ourselves first so we are able to take care of others in order to build emotional resilience. While this strategy was created to improve emotional regulation skills, this acronym is great for anyone and everyone to use.
A is for ACCUMULATE POSITIVE EMOTIONS AND EXPERIENCES
Life is like a roller coaster. Everyone will have positive and negative experiences. Similar to a monetary savings account, we can build a positive emotion and experience “savings account” to help us recover more quickly from negative ones. It’s important to have both short-term and long-term positive experiences to have an effective “savings account”.
SHORT-TERM EXPERIENCES are activities that we enjoy and can do regularly such as calling a friend or family member, petting our dog, or playing a game with our family. While these things can be done occasionally, the effects wear off quickly. Ideally, we want to do at least one thing daily that will build our “savings account” overtime.
Ideas for High-Energy Short-Term Experiences:
Go for a walk
Clean the house
Organize a drawer or room in your house
Play with a pet
Garden
Explore a new place
Ideas for Low-Energy Short-Term Experiences:
Journal
Do a craft
Read a book
Look through photos
Plan meals for the week
Call or text a friend
LONG-TERM EXPERIENCES are positive experiences that will be more meaningful and will have lasting positive effects. These activities help you create a more meaningful life and will depend on what you value in life.
In order to build long-term positive experiences, consider your values and priorities. Create long-term goals based off the values and priorities you identified. Then, take small steps to achieve your long-term goals by setting short-term goals. Creating smaller goals will give you small steps to focus on daily and will make those long-term goals seem more manageable. Pay attention to your relationships, as our relationships with others heavily influence our overall happiness. Plan time to nurture the relationships you already have and look to build new relationships with others. Avoid giving up – don’t procrastinate dealing with tough emotions or experiences. “Take the bull by the horns” so you can get back to focusing on building the positive experiences without a negative one hanging over your head.
B is for BUILD MASTERY
We build mastery by doing activities that make us feel confident and competent. This can be anything from showering or doing the laundry to practicing an activity you want to become better at. These activities are the ones that make you feel good when you cross them off your to-do list. Try to incorporate one activity that builds mastery each day so the next time a stressful situation arises, you will have an activity to focus on that can assist in alleviating negative or unwanted emotions.
C is for COPE AHEAD OF TIME
Build a plan ahead of time for coping with difficult situations. Just like you would plan for a trip, plan for emotionally distressing situations. When you have a tool box of strategies to pull from, you will be able to recover more quickly from negative experiences. One great strategy is to mentally visualize yourself handling a distressing situation well. You will be more likely to handle it well when you have already visualized it in your mind. You can even create a “self-care” or “coping strategies” tool box. For example, add your favorite candle, bubble wrap or a stress ball, favorite inspirational quotes, and fidget toys to a box you can easily access when a distressing situation arises.
PL is for TREAT PHYSICAL ILLNESS
When we aren’t feeling our best, we are more likely to be emotionally vulnerable and thus, becoming vulnerable to unhealthy coping mechanisms. In order to combat these negative experiences before they arise, we want to treat physical illnesses immediately. If you begin to feel sick, make a doctors appointment. If you’re prescribed daily medications, take those around the same time each day. Be proactive now to avoid being reactive later.
E is forEAT BALANCED MEALS
Eating balanced meals is important to give you sustained energy throughout the day. Make sure to eat three meals daily and try to include protein and vegetables to each meal. Another strategy that works for me is always having a couple of snacks in my bag. I keep Clif bars with me at all times because they always give me a boost of energy if needed.
A is for AVOID MOOD-ALTERING SUBSTANCES
People use mood-altering substances typically because they make us feel good in the short-term. However, in the long-term, these substances have the opposite effect. Alcohol and other substances impede our judgement. We become more likely to make decisions we wouldn’t normally make if we were sober. This can lead to a plethora of negative emotions. Additionally, when used frequently, they can change our brain’s functioning. If we want to build long-term happiness, it’s best practice to avoid mood-altering substances all together. Now this isn’t to say you should never have a drink – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But it’s important to avoid over-indulgence. Become aware of your own limits and stay within those limits to avoid negative experiences and unwanted consequences.
S is for GET BALANCED + ADEQUATE SLEEP
Maintaining a good sleep schedule is imperative to our daily functioning and overall health. It is recommended we get 8 hours of sleep each night; however, everyone is different. Some people can function well on 6 hours while others may need up to 10 hours. Listen to your body and adjust your sleep schedule accordingly. Creating a “wind down routine” is a great way to start building a better sleep schedule that you can look forward to at the end of each day.
E is for GET EXERCISE
Exercise is great for not only our physical health, but also our mental health. When we exercise, our body releases endorphins, a natural anti-depressant. Getting regular exercise – 20 to 30 minutes 3 times per week – is a great way to combat negative emotions and experiences. You don’t have to sign up for a gym membership to get regular exercise. Going for a walk or simply stretching in the comfort of your own home will give you the same results.
PRACTICE these skills each day to build emotional resilience, improve emotional regulation skills, and keep you at your best self. Life is hard for everyone. Make time to take care of yourself so you can feel your best and be at your best. A bonus: you will feel more confident being YOU!
To learn more about ABC PLEASE, check out the links here, here, and here.
Will you be implementing ABC PLEASE skills into your life? What are your favorite coping strategies for distressing situations? Comment below!
A few years ago, I was trying to find the best self-tanner for my skin. I had been to the dermatologist and had to have a couple of areas biopsied. Skin cancer runs in my family and after years of never using sun screen and going to the tanning bed once a day, I decided it was time to cool it with the fake-baking and careless sun-bathing. Well, I’m naturally very pale so I tried every self-tanning brand under the sun and was not satisfied with the color. I had so much trouble finding one that would actually give me the deep tan I was looking for. Then, I realized my application process could be a big contributor as to why I was unhappy with my self-tan. I did some research and found the following tips to be the most helpful:
BEFORE TANNING:
shave + exfoliate // use a scrub 24 hours prior to application: shaving and exfoliating immediately before application can leave you with those little “dots” all over your skin as a result of your pores and hair follicles not having enough time to close back up. remove all dead skin, hair, and old self-tanner from your last application 24 hours before re-application. if you haven’t shaved in a few days and you need to tan now, go ahead and apply but wait at least 24 hours after application to shave.
apply self-tanner to squeaky clean skin: your skin needs to be as clean as possible so the tanner adheres to your skin instead of build up of dirt, oil, dead skin cells, etc. this will keep your tan looking even in the days after application.
use moisturizer on dry areas such as elbows, knees, ankles: self-tanner sticks to these areas because they are naturally dry. use self-tanner sparingly on these areas. I like to use a small, fluffy makeup brush to minimize the risk of applying too much product leaving you with excessively dark ankles, knees, and elbows.
never use bare hands: just don’t do it. your hands will absorb a lot of product, leaving them looking orange. not to mention, the chances of your self-tanner application being streaky are almost guaranteed. use an application mitt each time (and wash the mitt after each use).
take your time: to avoid missing any areas, go slow moving from your feet up to your neck // face. you want to apply by moving your mitt in small circles. this will ensure even application and reduce likelihood of missing a spot. I also invested in a back applicator mitt from coco & eve to avoid missing any areas on my back.
ensure tan is totally dry before putting on clothes: I wait at least 10 minutes after application; then, I use a hair dryer on the cool setting all over my body to make sure the tanner is dry before putting on my clothes. I usually put on an old, giant tee shirt and loose-fitting shorts afterwards to avoid staining any of my favorite clothing.
AFTER TANNING:
rinsing: if you want a really deep tan, wait 8+ hours to rinse. I usually wait as long as I possibly can to get that richer, deeper tan I love.
hydrate your skin: moisturize your skin daily in order to prolong your tan and keep it looking even as it begins to fade.
OTHER TIPS:
un-tinted is a no go: I don’t recommend un-tinted formulas, as you can’t see where you have applied which can result in an uneven application.
facial tanner: I prefer using facial tanning oil instead of self-tanning mousse. I add 3-4 drops in with my moisturizer. it’s best to re-apply facial tanning oil every 2-3 days.
skin care products to avoid: avoid retinol, AHAs, BHAs, and facial oils when using self-tanner. these products increase the rate of skin-cell turnover resulting in an uneven tan.
skin care products to use: use hyaluronic acid, SPF, and vitamin c serums to keep your skin hydrated. this will prevent an uneven tan as self-tanner begins to fade.
I’ve listed my top picks below with links. My personal favorites are b.tan and Coco & Eve! ☺︎
What is your favorite self-tanner? If you have any special tips or tricks, feel free to leave a comment below!
Self-care is defined as the practice of taking action to preserve one’s own health. It is not synonymous with self-indulgence or selfishness. Self-care means taking care of yourself so you can do your job, you can help others, you can be healthy, and you can do all the things you need and want to accomplish in a day. It promotes healthy functioning and enhances your overall well-being. It’s just like when a flight attendant reviews the procedure of using oxygen masks in case of emergency. You’re instructed to put your mask on first before helping others because you won’t be able to help others if you aren’t able to breathe. The same principle applies to self-care. You must take care of yourself first so that you can be at your best self to help others.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Fill your cup first.
Joseph Fleming
Additionally, you must take care of yourself for your health and well-being. Your needs are equally important to those around you and you owe it to yourself to take care of YOU so you can feel good about yourself!
Self-care will look different and mean something different to everyone. However, at the end of the day, it’s about doing anything that feels nourishing to you.
There are 7 pillars of self-care:
Mental
Emotional
Physical
Environmental
Spiritual
Recreational
Social
We want to maintain somewhat of a balance among these pillars. This list may be overwhelming but you don’t have to tackle them all at once. You can choose one area to focus on for a few weeks then add another area as you go. The goal is about finding a balance that works for you. For example, some people don’t need as much social interaction as others. You may feel balanced by spending time with your friends once or twice a month; whereas, someone else may need more social interaction, like once or twice per week. It’s okay if your idea of self-care looks totally different than someone else’s. The most important thing is staying mindful and paying attention to which areas are in need of attention so all areas don’t begin to collapse.
Let’s talk about each pillar:
Mental Self-Care
Mental Self-Care, or intellectual self-care, is about cultivating and attending to a healthy mindset. This one is important so you can develop a healthy mindset and continue to grow your skills, learn new skills, and enhance knowledge.
Ideas:
Reading a book
Writing in a journal
Meditation + mindfulness
Writing a to-do list or brain dump
Taking a break from social media and the internet
Continuing education courses in your field of expertise
Trying a new activity to engage your brain in a new way
Emotional Self-Care
Emotional Self-Care is about learning healthy coping strategies and implementing them when emotional matters occur. It’s also about figuring yourself out so you can understand yourself better and develop healthy emotional responses. Self-compassion is important to practice as well.
Ideas:
Setting boundaries
Positive affirmations
Making a gratitude list
Asking for help if you need it
Listening to your favorite songs
Physical Self-Care
Physical Self-Care seems a little obvious: exercising, eating nutritious meals, and basic hygiene. What many people don’t know is it is also about sleeping well and keeping up with doctor’s appointments. It can also include health literacy. For example, reading up on a diagnosis and learning ways to minimize issues with the diagnosis.
Ideas:
Going for a walk
Drinking more water
Eating at regular times
Sleeping 7-8 hours each night
Taking medication and vitamins
Exercising – I’ve been using ClassPass to try different workouts lately (highly recommend)
Environmental Self-Care
Environmental Self-Care is simply taking care of the spaces around you. For example, keeping a clean house or decluttering your pantry or closet. It can also include exploring a new place in your community.
Ideas:
Clean out your closet
Organizing your work space
Establish a basic cleaning routine
Explore a place you’ve been wanting to go
Appeal to your 5 senses – put on your favorite music, light a candle, sip on warm tea or cold water with lemon, adjust the lighting, and slip into a comfy outfit (great daily wind-down routine)
Spiritual Self-Care
Spiritual Self-Care is about taking care of your soul – finding activities that give you a sense of purpose and add meaning to your life. It doesn’t have to include religion if that’s not something your into.
Ideas:
Meditation
Identifying your values
Prayer or connecting to a higher power
Spending time in nature or with animals
Volunteering for a cause meaningful to you
Recreational Self-Care
Recreational Self-Care is about connecting with your inner child by doing something fun and trying new experiences. This allows you to disconnect from the daily routine of life and all the things on your to-do list.
Ideas:
Playing a game
Recreational sports
Doing absolutely nothing
Any hobby or activity that brings you joy
Going on an adventure or exploring a new place
Anything that will switch up your daily routine allowing for “fun” time
Social Self-Care
Social Self-Care doesn’t sound like a typical part of “self-care”, but it is important to spend time connecting with others. This brings a sense of belonging and acceptance.
Ideas:
Visiting a friend
FaceTime or call a loved one you don’t see often
Joining a club – volunteer groups, recreational sports, etc.
Finding a community or support group to get involved with
Spending time with friends, family, or anyone you enjoy being around
Benefits of Self-Care
There are so many benefits of self-care practices – from reducing anxiety, depression, burnout, and stress to increasing energy and overall happiness. Not to mention, research has shown long-term effects of self-care practices are invaluable. Click here and here for a couple articles outlining all the major benefits.
The National Institute of Mental Health also has a wonderful article regarding self-care linked here.
Additionally, I found two other great articles for your reference on Psychcom and Psychology Today linked here and here.
How to Build Your Own Customized Self-Care Routine
When I was beginning to really focus on my personal self-care routine, I used the article here to guide me. I found the steps outlined to be incredibly helpful. I have listed them below for your reference.
Assess your needs – make a list of all the major categories in your life such as school or work, family, friends, pets, and physical health.
Consider your stressors – determine which areas of your life contribute to stress and think about or research ways to manage that stress.
Devise self-care strategies – consider activities that can help you feel better in each area. For example, if you struggle remembering to drink enough water throughout the day, set a reminder on your phone that will persist on your Home Screen throughout the day.
Plan for challenges – there will always be challenges. If you notice one area is being neglected, create a new plan of action.
Take small steps – trying to tackle everything all at once will more than likely be overwhelming. Choose one area to focus on improving for a month. Set goals. Then, add another area the next month.
Schedule time to focus on your needs – add self-care time into your planner and keep track of your progress towards each goal.
A Look at My Self-Care Plan:
At the beginning of the year, I sat down and determined my “focus” for the year. I madeboundaries, discipline, and self-care my top priorities. Then, I listed each major area of my life. Within these areas, I listed 3-5 goals to focus on. Some of these goals were already in progress, but I know I have a tendency to slack off as life gets busy so I kept them on my list to track maintenance. Take a look out my outline below:
PROFESSIONAL
PERSONAL
SPIRITUAL
RELATIONSHIPS
FINANCIAL
I did not include my personal goals in each area because well, they’re personal – but I chose to focus on professional and personal goals first. I chose one or two goals from each area that were of utmost importance to me to improve and I focused on those for the month of January. In February and March, I incorporated two more goals goal from both categories. I still track my progress in the other areas and use that to choose my focus for the next month. So far, this is helping a ton in terms of creating stronger boundaries with others and myself, re-cultivating discipline back into my life, and taking care of myself and well-being through self-care practices.
This can seem daunting at first – it was for me. However, I will say I have maintained this system for the first 3 months of the year and I feel much better overall. I also included little ways to celebrate when I reach a goal. This gives me something additional to look forward to. It took a little trial-and-error, but I found what works for me. I highly recommend giving this a try if you’re looking to improve your self-care practices!
If you would like some other suggestions or want to share your own personal suggestions, leave a comment below!
We have 8 wellness products to choose from targeting different areas of wellness. I have 4 favorites I use daily including our Total Greens, Collagen Key, Energy, + Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies.
Total Greens is great for those who don’t get their daily dose of veggies. Collagen Key supports and improves the production of collagen. Our Energy is a healthier alternative to coffee, giving you the boost you need to start your day without the crash later. Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies also improve energy + support overall wellness.
MY DAILY WELLNESS LINE UP:
Total Greens
Collagen Key
Energy
ACV Gummies
I typically make a little wellness cocktail by mixing Total Greens, Collagen Key, + Energy with water first thing in the morning. Then, I take my ACV Gummies afterwards! It is the perfect way to start my morning off right!
To check out all of our wellness products, click here! If you’re interested in trying one of our wellness products, leave a comment below!
We have 4 skin care collections including Countercontrol, Countermatch, Counterstart, and Countertime. In addition, we have our Counter+ line and our newest line, the All Bright Collection.
Our Countercontrol line is best for oily, blemish-prone skin. Countermatch is best suited for those with combination skin. Counterstart is the perfect line for those transitioning to clean beauty products for the first time or for those with sensitive skin. Countertime is best for dry, aging skin. Our Counter+ line and All Bright line include several products to add to your daily routine.
Check out my current skincare routine below!
MORNING SKIN CARE ROUTINE:
Countermatch Refresh Foaming Cleanser
Countermatch Hydra-Gel Radiance Toner
All Bright C Serum
Countermatch Adaptive Moisture Lotion
Countermatch Eye Rescue Cream
Countersun Daily Sheer Defense for Face
Countercontrol SOS Acne Spot Treatment – as needed
Morning Line Up
NIGHT TIME SKIN CARE ROUTINE:
Lotus Glow Cleansing Balm OR Countertime Lipid Defense Cleansing Oil
Countermatch Hydra-Gel Radiance Toner OR All Bright Triple Acid AHA Toner (every other night)
Countertime Tripeptide Radiance Serum
Countertime Tetrapeptide Supreme Cream
Countertime Ultra Renewal Eye Cream
All Bright Brightening Facial Oil (every other night)
Countercontrol SOS Acne Spot Treatment – as needed
Night Time Line Up
And there you have it! This is my complete routine but I do switch things up from time to time because I love trying new products. Stay tuned to see what I try next!
I have been living in the same one bedroom apartment for 3 years. I LOVE my apartment but the floor plan I chose came with one con: a super small closet. For first 2 years of living here, I had clothes jam-packed into my closet. I didn’t like the way everything was shoved in so tightly. I also didn’t like not being able to see all my clothing options. I, obviously, was part of the problem – I didn’t need the amount of clothes I had. Many of which I had back in college and didn’t wear them anymore. Therefore, step one of this project included purging anything I hadn’t worn in awhile or didn’t anticipate ever wearing again//having the need to wear again.
This was a difficult and daunting task. I don’t love getting rid of clothing that I think I *might* wear one day or clothing that has never been worn. I had to decide what was more important: the clothes or a less chaotic closet. I, of course, chose the latter option. I was able to narrow down by sorting out items I truly didn’t need and were just taking up space and items I knew I would never wear again. The second step was figuring out how I wanted to arrange my closet.
I wanted to keep items that are pretty to look at on display, so I chose to put bags, hats, + jewelry on the center shelves (pictured below).
I put my duffle on the top shelf because I don’t travel frequently and don’t need to access it often. I purchased a bag stuffer from The Container Store so the duffle would hold its shape and look nice sitting on the shelf. On the middle shelf, I displayed my favorite hat + favorite bag. Then, I replaced my old jewelry box that had a hinged top section with this more functional, stackable, + customizable acrylic jewelry box. I also found the perfect clutch organizer to contain all my smaller bags!
Since I’m short, I knew I needed to put things I didn’t need to access often on the top shelf. I decided to put seasonal clothing in baskets up top – currently housing my winter clothing.
I keep longer-hanging items on the left side of my closet such as dresses and jumpsuits. I utilized hanging shelves from The Container Store for athletic wear, comfy tees, and sweatshirts. The drawers for the shelves are currently out of stock. Once back in stock, I plan to use them on several of the shelves to hide clothing. I also use the no-slip hangers – they are amazing and not only prevent clothes from falling off the hangers, but also are thin enough to give you added closet space.
Now for the built-in drawers + bottom of the closet:
The built in drawers serve as a space for all of my old, oversized college tees, sweatpants, joggers, and jeans. I used to use a shoe rack; however, this tiny closet doesn’t allow the space for that, so I lined them up along the bottom of my closet. This way I can still see them all!
Lastly, I utilized over-the-door shoe storage to allow for additional storage space.
Here, you can see my flip flops + flats are stored in this plastic over-the-door shoe rack on the left. I utilize this space for winter gloves, scarves, as well as other miscellaneous clothing necessities.
I also found this other neat shoe rack on the right – perfect for tennis shoes, sneakers, and wedges!
On the top hanging rod, I hung my pants, jackets, and blazers. On the bottom hanging rod, I hung all tops, denim jackets, Boys Lie sweatshirts, and shorter dresses + rompers (toward the back).
For the most part, I can see all of my items and easily choose what to wear. Although it’s not “perfect”, it is functional and looks SO much better than before!
It took some time to get my space figured out and configured in a way that works for me. I never thought I would be able to make this small closet work but luckily with help from The Home Edit and The Container Store, I was able to figure out a way to make it work for me!
I’m sure you notice the blue + purple tags on my hangers – those are tiny Post-Its. I use them as a way to help me remember which items I’ve worn and which I haven’t. This way, as I’m changing clothes out for the seasons, I can donate or sell items I didn’t wear and have space for new items once the next season rolls around. I chose to do this because I often find myself reaching for the same 5 or so outfits every week and the rest ends up being unworn or in the way. I’ve also found the fewer items I have, the easier it is for me to decide what to wear and it minimizes the time I waste trying to choose. I still have a lot of clothes, many unworn, but this strategy has helped a ton!
For product links, click here!Check out my linen closet organization post here!
I would love to hear everyone’s closet organizing tips so please share below!
I have tried all of Monat’s skincare products and have a few favorites I use regularly! My top picks are listed here!
4 products I use frequently:
Makeup Vanishing Balm – my absolute FAVORITE makeup remover! It’s very gentle + removes even the toughest eye makeup without stripping the skin of its moisture!
Berry Refined Scrub – this scrub is gentle and hydrating – I use it once or twice per week!
Hydration Booster Serum – such a great serum for those needing hydration! It hydrates without clogging pores!
Skin Revitalizing Essence – I’m not currently using this product but I love it! When using this product, I put it on immediately after cleansing!
The Makeup Vanishing Balm is a must have product for me! It is the best makeup remover I have ever used! If you’re wanting to try any of the skincare products, definitely get this one!!!
Main + Meg 