ABC PLEASE

is a dialectal behavioral therapy skill (DBT) used to improve emotional regulation and combat vulnerability to emotional crisis. DBT was developed by Marsha Linehan, a psychologist and an author. The basis of this skill is taking care of ourselves first so we are able to take care of others in order to build emotional resilience. While this strategy was created to improve emotional regulation skills, this acronym is great for anyone and everyone to use.

A is for ACCUMULATE POSITIVE EMOTIONS AND EXPERIENCES

Life is like a roller coaster. Everyone will have positive and negative experiences. Similar to a monetary savings account, we can build a positive emotion and experience “savings account” to help us recover more quickly from negative ones. It’s important to have both short-term and long-term positive experiences to have an effective “savings account”.

SHORT-TERM EXPERIENCES are activities that we enjoy and can do regularly such as calling a friend or family member, petting our dog, or playing a game with our family. While these things can be done occasionally, the effects wear off quickly. Ideally, we want to do at least one thing daily that will build our “savings account” overtime.

Ideas for High-Energy Short-Term Experiences:

• Go for a walk
• Clean the house
• Organize a drawer or room in your house
• Play with a pet
• Garden
• Explore a new place

Ideas for Low-Energy Short-Term Experiences:

• Journal
• Do a craft
• Read a book
• Look through photos
• Plan meals for the week
• Call or text a friend

LONG-TERM EXPERIENCES are positive experiences that will be more meaningful and will have lasting positive effects. These activities help you create a more meaningful life and will depend on what you value in life.

In order to build long-term positive experiences, consider your values and priorities. Create long-term goals based off the values and priorities you identified. Then, take small steps to achieve your long-term goals by setting short-term goals. Creating smaller goals will give you small steps to focus on daily and will make those long-term goals seem more manageable. Pay attention to your relationships, as our relationships with others heavily influence our overall happiness. Plan time to nurture the relationships you already have and look to build new relationships with others. Avoid giving up – don’t procrastinate dealing with tough emotions or experiences. “Take the bull by the horns” so you can get back to focusing on building the positive experiences without a negative one hanging over your head.

B is for BUILD MASTERY

We build mastery by doing activities that make us feel confident and competent. This can be anything from showering or doing the laundry to practicing an activity you want to become better at. These activities are the ones that make you feel good when you cross them off your to-do list. Try to incorporate one activity that builds mastery each day so the next time a stressful situation arises, you will have an activity to focus on that can assist in alleviating negative or unwanted emotions.

C is for COPE AHEAD OF TIME

Build a plan ahead of time for coping with difficult situations. Just like you would plan for a trip, plan for emotionally distressing situations. When you have a tool box of strategies to pull from, you will be able to recover more quickly from negative experiences. One great strategy is to mentally visualize yourself handling a distressing situation well. You will be more likely to handle it well when you have already visualized it in your mind. You can even create a “self-care” or “coping strategies” tool box. For example, add your favorite candle, bubble wrap or a stress ball, favorite inspirational quotes, and fidget toys to a box you can easily access when a distressing situation arises.

PL is for TREAT PHYSICAL ILLNESS

When we aren’t feeling our best, we are more likely to be emotionally vulnerable and thus, becoming vulnerable to unhealthy coping mechanisms. In order to combat these negative experiences before they arise, we want to treat physical illnesses immediately. If you begin to feel sick, make a doctors appointment. If you’re prescribed daily medications, take those around the same time each day. Be proactive now to avoid being reactive later.

E is for EAT BALANCED MEALS

Eating balanced meals is important to give you sustained energy throughout the day. Make sure to eat three meals daily and try to include protein and vegetables to each meal. Another strategy that works for me is always having a couple of snacks in my bag. I keep Clif bars with me at all times because they always give me a boost of energy if needed.

A is for AVOID MOOD-ALTERING SUBSTANCES

People use mood-altering substances typically because they make us feel good in the short-term. However, in the long-term, these substances have the opposite effect. Alcohol and other substances impede our judgement. We become more likely to make decisions we wouldn’t normally make if we were sober. This can lead to a plethora of negative emotions. Additionally, when used frequently, they can change our brain’s functioning. If we want to build long-term happiness, it’s best practice to avoid mood-altering substances all together. Now this isn’t to say you should never have a drink – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But it’s important to avoid over-indulgence. Become aware of your own limits and stay within those limits to avoid negative experiences and unwanted consequences.

S is for GET BALANCED + ADEQUATE SLEEP

Maintaining a good sleep schedule is imperative to our daily functioning and overall health. It is recommended we get 8 hours of sleep each night; however, everyone is different. Some people can function well on 6 hours while others may need up to 10 hours. Listen to your body and adjust your sleep schedule accordingly. Creating a “wind down routine” is a great way to start building a better sleep schedule that you can look forward to at the end of each day.

E is for GET EXERCISE

Exercise is great for not only our physical health, but also our mental health. When we exercise, our body releases endorphins, a natural anti-depressant. Getting regular exercise – 20 to 30 minutes 3 times per week – is a great way to combat negative emotions and experiences. You don’t have to sign up for a gym membership to get regular exercise. Going for a walk or simply stretching in the comfort of your own home will give you the same results.

PRACTICE these skills each day to build emotional resilience, improve emotional regulation skills, and keep you at your best self. Life is hard for everyone. Make time to take care of yourself so you can feel your best and be at your best. A bonus: you will feel more confident being YOU!

To learn more about ABC PLEASE, check out the links here, here, and here.

Will you be implementing ABC PLEASE skills into your life? What are your favorite coping strategies for distressing situations? Comment below!